Wednesday 8 August 2012

Fifty Shades of Nonsense?

I, along with many others, would have to be (ironically, I do believe) tied to a chair and teased into submission before I would read a single page of E.L. James' "novel"* Fifty Shades of Grey/Darker/Freed (and yes, I am proud to say that I had to perform a Google search for the other titles).

The Fifty Shades debate has drawn many a literary snob out from the woodwork but also posed some interesting questions. Is it positive, for example, that this "book for people who don't read" encourages those who previously believed Waterstones to be either a beverage or a fountain accessory retailer, to willingly enter such an establishment?1 Perhaps they will return after purchasing the trilogy. In fact, perhaps Waterstones should offer a 3 for 4 offer or buy-one-get-one-free, forcing panicked punters to pick up a novel not written by the ubiquitous James.

It has been compared to Lady Chatterley's Lover, which is something of an affront to Lawrence, but I can see where they're going. But Fifty Shades is different: it wasn't written in an attempt to break free from the denied existence of human sex- and sensuality, but as an overtly simplistic light-hearted erotica response to the teenage vampire-on-non-vampire-forbidden-and-deadly-desire that somehow James dragged off on a tangent, wherein she displaced the dystopian vampireland, and landed the plot smack-bang in the centre of suburbia where Mr Grey could be conveniently coveted by housewives.2 And, unlike Lady Chatterley it most certainly isn't about to be banned, with shops at the height of its release being forced to put up notices stating, 'Fifty Shades series out of stock: awaiting delivery'. What, like Lady Chatterley, it has taught us, is that we're no longer ashamed of being sexually curious creatures and that we're most intrigued when it comes to someone else trying it out first. That, or, that the men of British suburbia are far too comfortable with vanilla intercourse.

The New York Times featured a story on libraries 'debating whether to stock Fifty Shades of Grey' with North Carolina collections manager, Tim Cole, giving the go ahead finally declaring the series to be of 'mixed literary merit'. Fifty Shades has certainly been created quite a sensation (very subtle pun wholly intended) but it still seems that the only 'merit' it possesses is the ability to make airport bookshops and amazon.com a little wealthier.

However you feel, Grey isn't going away any time soon. Perhaps though those newly attuned bookshop-goers could try out the Earl of Rochester next?





*"Novel" because the OED states that a 'novel' 'typically represents character and action with some degree of realism' and, I for one, refuse to admit that Fifty Shades makes one miserable attempt at writing anything close to even an impressionist take on realism.
1. As quoted on Woman's Hour, BBC Radio 4, Tuesday 3rd July 2012.
2. E.L. James' book was originally written as a fan-fiction response to Stephanie Myers' young adult Twilight novels. Somewhere along the line she decided to drop the blood-suckers for a hunk with a whip.

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